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Andy Rooney says it like it is

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.
The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.
Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer.
I think killing makes you a killer.
You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!
ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling;
it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English!
As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American/Canadian/British citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot or arrest you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special National Assistance, loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, corner store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich and I don't pity the poor.

I know pro-wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more.
If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say 'NO!'

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of 'Political Correctness.'
I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be 'African-Americans/Canadian/British'?
Besides, Africa is a continent.
I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe .
I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

my favorite cartoon

Hearing Aid posing as Bluetooth Headset

Is it me or is it deliciously bizzare that you can buy a hearing aid that rather than trying to be small and invisble instead poses as a bleutooth headset for a cell phone. I saw one recently in AA in flight magazine. It proposed to make the wearer feel young and "with it" and showed an older guy smiling with a big headset sticking out of his ear. Check out these http://www.plime.com/plime-com/l/49992-history/1/. This will now take a rightful place alongside of hair replacements and penis elragements. And all earmarked toward men. And here we thought it was the women who were vain.

More from our friend Rocky

Another installemnt from the"Rocky Land". Enjoy...

"My parents have been on vacation and I have been taken care of their dog. One night, Bella, got into my trash can and got some chewing gum that was in the can. At 2:00am, I woke up and he she is, in my bed chewing on this gum. I take it away from her, however I did not know what to do with it. I did not want to put it back in the trash can because she will just get it out again, nor did I want to put it on my night stand because she will just jump on top of it and get it. I had a great idea – I will hold the gum in my hand while I sleep (I am going to blame the lack of sleep for this “great” idea). I woke up at 6:00 am and I found my hand in my hair and it was stuck. I pulled my hand away, with hair attached to it. It took forever to get the gum off my hand, yet I was hopping that a hot shower will loosen up the gum in my hair – nope didn’t work. I ended up having to cut the pieces of gum out of my hair . . . . . gees, it wasn’t pretty. I have a hair appointment on Wednesday to “fix” my hair."

Rules for being a Russian Jewish Immigrant

Here they are. Honestly, it is exactly the truth.

* Wear Armani Exchange.

* Drive a Mercedes or BMW.

* Get a Bally Total Fitness membership just to use the steam room.

* Know at least 10 people named "Sasha". Male or female.

* Get a new cellphone at least once every 6 months

* Never spend more than $50 on sneakers.

* Have a $50 bottle of cologne with you at any moment.

* Never buy anything costing more than $1000 from a non-Russian.

* Make sure your job somehow involves computer programming, unless you are in medicine.

* Make sure that you have been to Niagara Falls on a Russian tour bus at least 5 times.

* You MUST have been to Brighton beach.

* When having guests over for a meal, put every food item you own out on the table

* You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying

* When you go on a long trip somewhere, everyone has to sit down for a few minutes or else you will have bad luck.

* you shouldnt talk about something good happening before it does.

* You cant buy baby stuff before the baby is born, thats bad luck.

* People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something...and you can

* You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas

* The first question your parents ask about a new girl you're dating is whether she is Jewish or not.

* You must wear tapki at your house, and must keep extra pairs for guests.

* your grandparents have rugs on their walls.

Did you ever want to fly like a bird?

I am sure everyone has. Well these guys do. Turn on speakers, click on the link and enjoy

http://www.biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=4262

wild stuff !!!

From the land of Mark Twain

Let me intoduce you to a young man. Let's call him Rocky. Rocky lives in southern midwest and is a nice enough guy who likes to share his experiences with his friends. I woud, in turn, would like to share some of those experiences with you. The first few of (hopefully) many to come are present in the remainder of this post. Enjoy.

"A friend, my roommate, and I decided to walk down town one night.  On the way back, we stopped at “Ward’s Donut”.  When we walked out two people followed up.  They stopped us and yelled at us, they were drunk.  The next thing I know, one throws a punch at Matt.  I step in and say, “You can’t do that”.  Then I get hit in the face (it was nothing) and I start throwing punches.  I look behind me expecting to see my friends with me and they were half way down 4^th Avenue.  I was not really upset that two idiots jumped us, I was more upset that I was helping someone else and they take off running."

-"At the very end of my sophomore year, I had a mouse die in my bed. I went to bed around 2:30 am because I was studying for exams. I woke up around 7:30 to get ready for my 9 o'clock exam. When I walked back in from the shower, I glanced at my bed and I noticed that there was something lying there. I looked at it closer and I could not believe it, it was a mouse! Twin Towers has drop-ceiling tiles and I removed two of them so I could hang my bike from the steel rafters. . The mouse was running across the ceiling and did not realize that they’re two of the ceiling tiles were removed. He took a step and fell. He hit my rear-wheel sprocket on my 21-speed bike, which resulted him in cutting his back and bleeding to death. This all happened while I was asleep because a blood smear existed from where I moved it in my sleep. I took a picture of this and I will publish it when I find it."

An old truism that came up today

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
-Samuel Johnson

One of those eloquent sayings that capture the naked truth. How many among us would lower our eyes and try to justify why this one rubs us the wrong way? It is the definition of humanity that most do not measure up to these days. A friend relayed to me an assesment by one of the people who knows me (and doesn't like me) that I am great salesman, but not a good businessman. I thought of it for a few minutes and decided that to some degree they are right. For I try to measure up to that statement above. I may not always succeed, but I try. And no "good" businessman would. Or would they?

If you read "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell you would remember his description of the best car salesman in america. This guy in a NJ Toyota dealership sells around 60 cars PER MONTH. How does he do it? He breaks any pre-judgement he may have about a customer when he meets them. He MAKES himself erase any judgement, prejudice, "wisdom" etc. and simply tries to treat every person the best he can without any consideration for possible benefit. He treats the pimply 17 year old, the old farmer in overalls, and businessman in a suite exactly the same. And they buy cars from him. So I do get the conventional wisdom on this. But I don't buy it. If I screw someone, did that make me a good businessman? Or did it make me a variant of a shoplifter? Shoplifters benefit too. Just not over time.

So when such judgement comes from someone whose whole value system was built by and shaped in the former Sovietr Union. Whose corrupt and myoipic defintion of a good businessman translates into screwing as many people as they can, I would employ another great saying:

"You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies."
-Doctor Who, Remembrance of the Daleks

My New Home Page

So I am changing my home page from Yahoo's generic web hosting service to TypePad. It doesn't mean that I am about to "blog" my heart out. In fact, I blogged and photo blogged well before it has become a craze. But then, the hoards have caught up with me and "blogging" has become, well...old. See my old blog link to on the margins somewhere.

Since at that time I traveled like a mad man, I used the blog to let my friends and family know where I am and to share wth them some quick snap shots. The modern blogs have grown to be much more than that. People blog on EVERYTHING. Some have something of value to share. Most, are boring and routine commentary on daily life. Some are downright embarssing. The propensity to share things that are private with the rest of the world is curious at best. Some people insist to keep their private diaries on the web and it appears that there are people out there who care enough to follow them.

So this isn't a blog. It's my home page. I intend to use it to share with people I know things that attarct my attention and maybe of use. I won't blog. I will not indicate my mood or keep a diary. Ok?